Gunpoint
by GrimGrave
Summary: Crack oneshot of an weird idea I had. Zelda and Samus are both happily together, and everything seems perfect. So what is the reason for Samus distance between the two, and what will Zelda do in her wily attempt to regain Samus' attention? Rated M for possible future chapter and vague adult themes. Zelda x Samus, Yuri. Read and Review please.


Disclaimer: GrimGrave does not own the characters or Super Smash Brothers. The characters used belong to Nintendo and Shigeru Miyamoto, while Super Smash Bros. belong to Nintendo and its creator Masahiro Sakurai.

Bayonetta as both game and character belongs to Platinum Games and series creator Hideki Kamiya, as well as Mari Shimazaki, the character designer.

**Gunpoint**

She watched her from the audience seats, far away from the stage itself. Had it not been for Master Hand's clever use of screens and cameras, it would have been nearly impossible to see what was going on during the fights. But here she was, watching her lover dash across the stage with kicks and throws and the occasional charged up blaster. Fighters left and right fell before her combat expertise. She was a seasoned veteran in her own right, a warrior of brawling and hunter of bounty.

She was Samus Aran.

The lover of Princess Zelda.

A fact well known amongst the Super Smash community. A bit unorthodox, perhaps even strange in the eyes of the other fighters, but openly accepting in the long run. But who would've thought that a posh and proper princess would end up together with a tomboyish bounty hunter from a faraway planet, rather than a knight that came to her rescue?

So why was it that that the look on the princess' face was solemn, as if stolen of any shred of joy that would usually adorn her gracious features?

The fellow princess Peach had noticed it remarkably well. And as the good friend she was, she walked over to Zelda through the roaring crowd, ignoring what was happening on stage. By the sound of it, Samus had blasted away yet another fighter for the second time. It was a stock-battle.

She gently tapped the hylian princess on the shoulder as she sat down next to her, gaining her attention. The brown-haired princess forced herself to smile, albeit weakly, at her friend. "Oh, hi Peach. How are you?"

"Absolutely peachy!" The bubbly princess giggled at her pun, prompting Zelda to join in, even if it was only slightly. "But silliness aside, I'm good. That's more than I can say about you though. You've been acting solemnly for the past weeks now Zel, even when your darling hunter is around." Her tone had been meant to be teasing, but the hylian princess seemed taken aback by the remark. The blue orbs averted back to the stage.

"I guess I let on a lot more than I thought…" Zelda replied. Peach simply rolled her eyes with another giggle, and a friendly pat on the back.

"Zel, you are as readable as an open book. It's not too hard to notice how you two were overly happy at first, and now you look like you just found out that you are about to die." The pink-clad princess paused briefly. "Zelda… Just what has happened?"

Another roar and the booming sound of mixed applauds filled the air as another fighter got knocked out of the stage, pummelling towards the depths. It was Snake that had been the first one to lose, leaving Samus, Marth and Meta Knight left standing.

As the roars of cheering died down, Zelda looked back at Peach. "I… I don't know if I should dwell on it… It's a silly subject to-"

"Don't you even try!" Peach said almost harshly. "You sulk for weeks, even when Samus is around and you say it's silly? Whatever it is, it's obviously affecting you deeply. So spill the beans!" Zelda knew Peach was serious. But when the pink, bubbly princess pouted it was too adorable to resist laughing. A gentle giggle escaped the hylian's lips, and when she noticed Peach's softened expression, she knew it best to talk. She was her friend after all.

"Alright, I guess I should lighten my heart up a little… But let's talk somewhere else. I already know how this match will end…"

**::::::**

"So what is this secret you're harbouring?" Peach asked with a smile. The princess duo had left the stage behind, now walking within the garden outside of the Super Smash mansion. Every fighter that wasn't involved with the fight was instead watching it, leaving the two alone. Zelda was still uncharacteristically timid about the subject, further worrying the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom.

Eventually, they came to a halt underneath the shade of a tree. The hylian sighed softly as she stared at the green grass. "I… I don't know for sure if I'm right but…"

"Yes?" Peach inquired. The hylian sighed again.

"I fear that… I fear that Samus might have lost some… interest in me…"

Peach's eyed widened as she gasped. She covered her mouth as she did, but it didn't stop her voice from raising itself in a few pitches of panic. "W-What?! What are you talking about Zelda?! We all know that Samus has been… uh... _pining_ for you since day one! I want to remember that it was she that did most of the pursuing mind you! So what-"

"I saw her laptop!" Zelda shouted back in a similar panicked frenzy. "That strange piece of technologythat she has around! She had left it on while she was gone last night and…. And…" The brunette trailed off, her eyes now averted from Peach again. It was unusual to see the calm and collective princess of Hyrule so worked up and shy, even more so when it was at the same time. Peach eyed her puzzlingly.

"..And? Zelda… What did you see?"

"…I saw pictures…" She began. "Pictures of that… That Witch…!"

Peach gasped lightly. "Oh my… Zelda, you usually don't sink so low as to name-calling people like that-"

The hylian's eyed bugged out, her face flushed red. "N-No! No she IS a witch! That… That Bayonetta woman!"

"….Bayonetta…?" Peach tilted her head to the side, lightly tapping her chin in thought for a few seconds. "Oh! Yes I remember now! The Witch that is going to make a debut on the Wii-U, yes? … Wait, what was Samus doing with pictures of Bayo- …. Zelda. What kind of pictures-"

"P-please, don't jump to conclusions! It was nothing of _that_ sort! I m-mean, there was a few pictures of her in a… sensual pose or two, but-"

"Oh my gosh!" Peach interrupted. "You think that Samus…?"

The brunette's face was gradually growing redder, despite the shade of the tree. The more out of character she acted, the more Peach got worried sick over her friend. Eventually, after a few moments of being timid, Zelda straightened her back. Her eyes locked on Peach's.

"I… I'll admit that the bedroom might have been a little…" She seemed to search for the right word. "Unadventurous, compared to when we first got… you know." Peach nodded, silently urging Zelda to continue.

"But lately, she hasn't been as… forward with me like she used to. I fear that she might be… you know… uhm… smitten by this Bayonetta woman…"

"No! No, no!" Peach suddenly yelled. "Samus wouldn't do that! But it is strange though that she is looking at pictures of her…"

"Yes…" Zelda replied. "I just don't know what to do… I don't even know how I should approach this! Peach, I haven't been at a loss since the Twilight incident! I… Just don't know…"

She felt a Peach's arm pull her into a hug, light but comforting. The pink princess giggled as she stepped back, still patting Zelda on her shoulders reassuringly. "That's why I'm here, no? Let's start with something small… I reckon Samus' match is just about over."

**:::::::**

The bounty hunter cracker neck loudly whilst walking down the hallway. The match had ended with her as the victor, like many had anticipated, but the blonde hunter was exhausted. All she wanted to really was to take a shower and lie down on the sofa, preferably in the arms of her hylian lover, all snuggled up.

And speaking of the hylian princess, she was the source to why Samus didn't just head back to their room for the much wanted shower. Samus kept her eyes open for the brunette as she roamed the mansion, but to no avail. The princess was nowhere to be found unfortunately.

Just as the bounty hunter decided to simply go back to their room and take her shower, another princess came into her vision. As if on cue, Samus walked hastily over.

"Hey Peach." Samus began. The princess turned around with a smile, greeting the bounty hunter kindly in return. "Have you seen Zelda by any chance? I've been looking almost everywhere but I can't seem to find her…"

Peach covered her petite mouth with her glove-clad hand, stifling a light giggle. "That's a surprise, the bounty hunter who can't find her prey?" She allowed herself to giggle fully once Samus shot her with a mild frown, quickly dismissing her joke. "I'm only kidding silly! But on a more serious note, I don't think I've seen Zelda… She might be taking a walk. You know how she loves walks."

The bounty hunter nodded, tapping her chin in contemplation as she did. "I haven't checked the gardens yet… I could give it a look."

"Oh, yes of course! Uhm... May I join you? You know, just talk a little?"

Samus stared puzzlingly back at the princess. "Uh... Sure, why not."

"Sweet!" Peach exclaimed. As the two blondes began to be on their way to the gardens, the princess glanced over at the tall bounty hunter; so far she acted like normal, even looking for her girlfriend instead of just going back to their room. Having noted that mentally, Peach proceeded.

The duo stepped out of the doorway into the gardens. A bountiful green area where fighters could relax and enjoy some peace and tranquillity every now and then between fights.

Peach took a deep breath. "So Samus, mind if I ask you something?"

She shook her head. "Go ahead."

"Well then! Uhm… So what do you think of this Bayonetta woman making her debut on our home-field?"

The blonde hunter stopped in her tracks. Taken aback she stared at her friend in mild bewilderment and puzzlement. "That's… Forward of you Peach. And way to go with phrasing that…"home-field"… Uh, I find her cool I suppose. Chances are, if just small, that she might join the next tournament so I went ahead and dug up some research on her. Besides, I find her interesting."

Peach perked up at the remark. "Interesting?"

"Mhm." The bounty hunter replied with a nod. "She fights primarily with firearms, as do I. Sort of. I would love to test my skills against hers…"

"I see…" Peach replied, trailing off. She took another deep breath, hoping that it wouldn't be as embarrassing as she had dreaded. It was her idea after all, but she had rather not gone through with it. But Zelda was her friend, and as a good friend herself, Peach would try the waters so to speak, for Zelda's sake.

"B-Besides, she's a real minx as well isn't she? R-real eye-candy she is, oh yeah…" She could practically _feel_ the bounty hunter's eyes piercing through her, having once again made the hunter taken aback. She could feel her usually healthy face lose its colour and grow redder by the second.

"W-What was _that_ about, Peach?! I didn't know you were into women as well, and … Bayonetta of all people…" She eyed the pink princess sceptically. "So underneath this pink, bubbly persona, you're actually into-"

"N-No!" Peach yelled back. "I mean m-maybe! B-but it's not a-about me now, w-what do you t-think?!" _´Oh how smooth of you Peachy!´_

"…Me?" Samus frowned at the princess, yet retained the puzzled expression in her eyes. "I'll have you know that I'm happily together with Zelda, and I would never do anything to risk our relationship."

"Y-Yes, of course…" Peach replied meekly. "Say, I'll just head back inside, I'm feeling a bit dizzy… I tell Zelda to look for you if I-"

"But then…" Samus interrupted, once again tapping her chin. "I had to be lying if I said that her appeal was not partly the reason I checked her up…"

Peach said nothing. Slowly, she just walked away as Samus contemplated.

**::::::**

"You've returned." Zelda said in no particular tone. Peach walked up to her on wobbly feet, her face flushed, which Zelda immediately noticed, alarmed. "…What happened to you?"

"I… uh… I lost my subtlety and… Well your girlfriend thinks I'm a lesbian now."

"…. I… see… I'll be honest with you Peach; I don't know how I should react to that."

"Yes, well…" Peach replied. "Samus claimed that she was interested in Bayonetta since she also uses firearms apparently, and that she looked her up in case she would join the next tournament…"

The brunette sighed in relief. "I see… I guess I made a bird out of a feather then… But still, she-"

"And she thought that she had some appeal, which was partly the reason she looked her up as well... I guess she told me because she thought I was really into this Bayonetta woman…" Peach looked back at her friend sheepishly, to which Zelda sighed again, this time out of distress.

"She hasn't approached… sexually, in these past weeks… Perhaps she doesn't find me appealing anymore… I mean, maybe she prefers that… "Tough girl" persona…"

"Aw come on Zel…" Peach said soothingly. "Samus wouldn't do that… I'm sure you're overthinking this whole thing. I'm sure that when you talk to her it will all be crystal clear."

"I suppose- Wait…" Zelda said with a hint of a smile. "I think I just got an idea… Peach, I need you to do me a favour!"

"Oh, okay…" The pink-clad princess verily eyed her friend. "What do you need Zel?"

Zelda nodded with a smile. "I'll need you to first get me a pair of scissors…"

**:::::::**

The late evening moon loomed from its perch in the sky over the mansion, majestic and pale like the countless nights before. Samus was walking up the large staircase to the second floor where hers and Zelda's room was. Ironically, the bounty hunter had not yet found her princess – she had not been at their room, and few other fighters had seen the hylian. Not even Link knew of her whereabouts, other than she and Peach had eaten an early dinner and then left for somewhere else.

It would be an understatement to assume Samus was worried. She had begun to grow zealous in her search, telling passing fighters to keep an eye for Zelda and even bring her back to her room. It wasn't like the princess to avoid people like this unless it was for a grave reason, and Samus couldn't think of any such reason as to why Zelda would avoid her.

It didn't make any sense.

The evening was not young – many fighters had begun to head to bed, including Samus. Hopefully, Zelda would be there as well, and maybe then they could talk about her strange behaviour.

She sighed deeply and prolonged, gently rubbing her temples as she reached the final steps. She wished silently that there would be no argument – they had been blessed so far with only minor fights, but she wasn't in the condition to participate in a large-scale argument – she was still sore from her previous matches, she had yet to even take a shower and the stress and anxiety of not finding her girlfriend anywhere was taking its toll on her.

Finally, she managed to get to the door. Fumbling a bit with the keys, the door was ultimately unlocked, allowing Samus to enter her haven.

"What in the-" She stepped inside the room, only to find it pitch black; the late evening provided only the faint moonlight near the window, nothing more. When she tried to turn on the ceiling lamp, there was no response, no additional light to provide vision. The nearby light stands appeared to be of no help either – It was only Samus and the blackness of the night inside the room.

She stifled a muttering profanity. "Hello? Zelda? Looks like we need new light bulbs… Are you there?"

No response was given.

"Great… Guess I just have to feel my way straight to bed… Fantastic…"

"The light bulbs are fine, I just removed them for tonight." Zelda's voice came out of nowhere, slightly startling the bounty hunter as she kept talking from the darkness. "Find your way to the bedroom first. Then we can talk."

"What? Zelda what are you on about? If you're upset for something I've done I-"

"Bedroom. Now. Get going, _bounty hunter._" Samus arched an eyebrow at the command. It was definitely Zelda, but her voice was almost… Posh. Granted, the princess had always preferred to speak as formally and mannered as possibly, but this was absolutely posh, with a layer of command that was so unlike the hylian. The way she said bounty hunter was almost as if to mock Samus, but with little to no choice she obeyed, fumbling through the darkness.

Eventually, she could feel the edge of their bed underneath her skin-tight, suit-clad fingers. "Alright Zelda, I'm in the bedroom now. What gives with the attitude? Rather, why have avoided me the entire day?"

She could sense that Zelda was on the bed. The princess shifted herself on the covers in silence for a few seconds. "For various reasons, my dear bounty hunter… But since you want an answer, I shall reply with this; it's partly because you seem to have neglected me as of late." Zelda replied, her voice still holding that posh accent.

"Neglected…?" Samus said in mild disbelief. "Is that what you think I've been doing?"

"You have, don't deny it now. I won't tolerate lies Sammy-dear… Besides, it seems like a different woman has been catching your attention recently. Two pieces that makes a puzzle, no?"

The bounty hunter ran a hand through her long locks of hair, sighing. "You've spoken to Peach then I assume?" No reply was returned, but Samus kept going. "Look Zelda, it's not what it appears to be. Just because I find Bayonetta to be somewhat attractive doesn't mean I'll find you any less attractive. I love _you_, you idiot. I wouldn't leave you if so Bayonetta herself came up to my face and demanded it."

There was a brief moment of silence in the room, with the exception of a stifled gasp from Zelda. She let out a hacking cough. "…So you haven't grown bored of me Sam?" Zelda said, in her usual calm, yet sweet voice much to Samus joy. The bounty hunter couldn't help but to chuckle softly.

"I could never grow bored of you. But for what it's all worth, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for unknowingly neglecting you Zelda…"

"I… I accept your apology Sam…" Zelda replied, still talking in her usual voice until it suddenly changed, growing sharp, posh, and rich with command once again. "But you still have to be punished for it. So why don't you be a good girl and stay put – I'll be kind enough to give you that light you seek."

Samus chuckled while Zelda seemed to be crawling over the bed, for whatever means of light she had mentioned. "Look, Zelda… I understand that you might be feeling like you have to try something new and… bolder in order to regain my supposed lost interest in you, but I can assure you-"

The click of a button was heard, simultaneously emitting a strong light that gave enough vision of the bed and the two women. Samus shielded her eyes at first, allowing them to grow adjusted to the light. "- that you definitely don't have to change. I love you just the way you- … you… you…"

The bounty hunter was stunned to the very sinews of her body by the sight. Her blue eyes had grown wider with the shock that overwhelmed her, whilst her lower jaw hung loose like a cartoon character. As the last dim settled, the bounty hunter was presented with the sight that she would have never dreamed off, coming to realisation by Zelda of all people nonetheless!

One the white bed sheets sat Zelda, or at least someone who was resembling her; the woman on the bed had her usual brown hair, but the long locks had all been cut off. Instead, the woman sported short hair was just barely reaching past her ears, almost spiky at the ends. The clear, collected and calm blue orbs were now hidden behind a pair of simple, black-rimmed glasses. Eyes that now winked with mirth.

Gone was the flawless hylian dress worthy of the princess – instead, the woman now wore a skin-tight black suit, adorned with flairs on the wrists. The usual white silk gloves still covered the hands, but the feminine hands now wore a pair of blue guns with one being pointed directly at Samus. Lastly, a black cloak hung from the shoulders, draping the arms while the feet now sported high heeled shoes of different design than the hylian royal shoes.

Zelda let out a posh laughter at the gawking bounty hunter. The way Samus was reacting was worthy of a photo, to capture this rare moment when the usually stoic and calm bounty hunter was staring like a kid who had just found out he could get candy.

"Close that mouth, hunter." Zelda commanded with a playful wink. "It's uncouth, and it's embarrassing to see it hanging open like this. Is that drool I see?"

The bounty hunter quickly wiped her mouth, closing it. "S-Sorry… B-But Zelda-"

"That's Bayonetta to you, Sammy!"

"Uh… R-Right… But seriously, Zelda… Did you honestly get all of this done – even cutting off your hair! – just to keep me staying?"

Zelda giggled, allowing herself to drop out of the character. "Well… I was almost completely certain that you liked this Bayonetta so much, and that you had lost interest in me because… I don't know… Maybe I wasn't good enough in bed…"

"That's not true!" Samus yelled back. "Zelda, I love you! I just got caught up with my research on her that I unknowingly kept pushing you away… But I wouldn't want to leave you for anything. Don't ever doubt that."

The princess nodded with a gentle smile. "I know… I love you too Samus. I'm sorry that I doubted you."

"Besides," Samus added. "You have to admit, Bayonetta is rather good looking. Can't blame me for perhaps wanting a piece of that action, no?"

Zelda's face instantly turned sour at the remark, something the bounty hunter noticed just as quickly. But before the pleas for forgiveness could be heard, Zelda giggled and shook her head, sporting a sly smile on her lips.

"I guess I can't. It's only fair though, I mean I still look up Midna sometimes."

Zelda had to bite the inside of her cheek in order to not burst out laughing at Samus' expression of dread. The bounty hunter stared in disbelief at the princess, a single brow twitching slightly.

"…What was that, Zelda?"

"Hm?" The hylian replied. "I said I still look up Midna sometimes. You know, the princess of Twilight? Can't help but wonder what a piece of that action would be like…"

The bounty hunter tackled her on the bed, pinning her down with a growl. "Don't. Even. Joke. About. That."

"What are you talking about Sammy?" Zelda said with an uncharacteristic grin. "I'm just saying that she and I both are highly intellectual beings. I'm interested to test my skills against hers…"

They stared leeringly into each other's eyes for a few moments in silence, until Samus chuckled suddenly. "Alright, I get it. Point taken Zel-" She eyed the woman beneath her. "… I mean, Bayonetta… I believe I was about to be punished…"

"That you were." Zelda said with her posh accent, flipping Samus over to her back while straddling her hips. "Prepare for a lesson of loyalty you won't forget, my little hunter…"

She grinned, flashing her teeth at the now flushed bounty hunter.

"Time for you to be on the receiving end of a rough treatment…"

* * *

So how did my ridiculous crackish oneshot go?

Might add a lemon chapter someday though, when I feel like it. ^^


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